The Law of Reciprocity in Business Networking

The term reciprocity is at the center of relationship networking, but it is often misunderstood. Webster’s dictionary defines reciprocity as “a mutual or cooperative interchange of favors or privileges,” as when actions taken for the benefit of others are returned in kind. This leads many inexperienced networkers to expect an immediate return for any actions they take on behalf of another.  Givers gain, right? Wrong. 

Not every act of giving will be immediately rewarded by the recipient, and if you go into relationship networking thinking that simply giving a referral is enough to get you a referral in return, you are confusing a relationship with a transaction. On the contrary, the idea driving Givers Gain® is actually the principle of giving without the expectation of an immediate return. In networking, this idea is called the law of reciprocity, and the law of reciprocity differs from the standard notion of reciprocity in that the giver cannot, should not, and does not expect an immediate return on their investment in another person’s gain. The only thing they can be sure of is that, given enough effort and time, their generosity will be returned by family, friends, colleagues, and others – many times over, and in many different ways. 

Simply put, the law of reciprocity in business networking means that by providing benefits (including referrals) to others, you will be creating strong networking relationships that will eventually bring benefits (especially referrals) to you, often in a very roundabout way rather than directly from the person you benefit. This makes the law of reciprocity an enormously powerful tool for growing your own business’s size and profitability. 

I share my general view on Givers Gain® and the Law of Reciprocity in this video. 

Tips to Help You

I know a lot of experienced networkers who have amazing stories about how the law of reciprocity has shown them that there is far more business to be gained by referring business to others than you might expect. I offer these tips to keep in mind as you learn to use the Law of Reciprocity in your networking efforts. 

1. Giving means helping others achieve success. What is your plan to contribute to others? How much time and energy can you spare for this? Do you actively seek out opportunities to help people? You could volunteer to help out with something that’s important to someone in your network, offer advice or support in a time of need, or connect someone to a valuable contact of yours.
2. The person who helps you will not necessarily be the person you helped. As the great Zig Ziglar said, “If you help enough people get what they want, you will get what you want.” In other words, what goes around comes around. If you focus intently on helping others, you will achieve success in the end.
3. Success takes getting involved. Contrary to Woody Allen’s assertion that “90 percent of success is just showing up,” you have to do more than simply be present to be a successful networker. If you join a chamber of commerce, become an ambassador. If you join a BNI® chapter, get involved in the leadership team. If you join a civic organization, get on a committee. The law of reciprocity requires giving to the group; it will pay you back many times over. 

 A master networker understands that, although networking is not the end but simply the means to growing a business, service to your network of contacts must always be uppermost in your networking activities.  

The interesting thing about the Law of Reciprocity is that it is not always immediate, and the way in which it’s working is not always clear cut or easy to see. You may help a person in their time of need and find that your goodwill toward them comes back to you in the form of help repaid to you from someone completely different.  

That’s the beauty of it, though. Once you have established a solid reputation as someone who cares about the success of others, when you have pure intentions toward others and act positively on those intentions, life (through the Law of Reciprocity) will reward you with an abundance of high-quality referrals, and in surprising ways.
 

How have YOU experienced this in your business networking?